Here goes...
A crocodile went in an off-license and asked for a can of beer.
"I'm not serving you" said the assistant.
"Why?" asked the crocodile.
"Because", the man said, "You're under 18"
A termite walks into a bar room and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Whats big, white and cant climb trees?
A fridge.
Why was the baby biscuit crying?
Because his mum had been a wafer so long.
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish.
Maybe someone else actually knows some funny jokes <!--emo&:ph34r:-->
