Awful Jokes

Anything you wanna say, say it!

Postby Boxguy » Tue May 08, 2007 2:08 pm

I can't even begin to say how true this is:

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Postby Pashernate_Lover » Tue May 08, 2007 6:52 pm

Boxguy wrote:I can't even begin to say how true this is:

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HA! Reminds me of my old housemates!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
A note upon his desk
"P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
Leather elbows on a tweed coat
-Oh!-
Is THAT the best you can do ?
So came his reply :
"But on the desk is where I want you!"
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Postby Pashernate_Lover » Wed May 23, 2007 4:55 pm

What do you call a musician that breaks up with his girlfriend?





Homeless.
A note upon his desk
"P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
Leather elbows on a tweed coat
-Oh!-
Is THAT the best you can do ?
So came his reply :
"But on the desk is where I want you!"
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Postby Miserable Liar » Thu May 24, 2007 1:59 am

Pashernate_Lover wrote:What do you call a musician that breaks up with his girlfriend?





Homeless.


What? Seriously....
You're gonna kill me, is that your plan?
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Postby Pashernate_Lover » Thu May 24, 2007 4:36 am

No not seriously! It is a joke-- just like drummer jokes, they are meant in good fun.
A note upon his desk
"P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
Leather elbows on a tweed coat
-Oh!-
Is THAT the best you can do ?
So came his reply :
"But on the desk is where I want you!"
Pashernate_Lover
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Posts: 2601
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 2:39 am
Location: Santa Cruz, California

Postby elko » Thu May 24, 2007 9:42 am

Pashernate_Lover wrote:What do you call a musician that breaks up with his girlfriend?





Homeless.

:lol:

True enough.
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Postby Truman Capote » Thu May 24, 2007 9:44 am

Pashernate_Lover wrote:What do you call a musician that breaks up with his girlfriend?





Homeless.

i knew that one but with drummers
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Postby Lorimoz » Thu May 24, 2007 5:39 pm

<!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and runs downstairs. When she opens the door,
there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
£800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and
goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband
asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour,"
she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
about the £800 he owes me?"<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->
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Postby Pashernate_Lover » Thu May 24, 2007 5:45 pm

Lorimoz wrote:<!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and runs downstairs. When she opens the door,
there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
£800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and
goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband
asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour,"
she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
about the £800 he owes me?"<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->


HA!!! Awesome. :lol: :lol:
A note upon his desk
"P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
Leather elbows on a tweed coat
-Oh!-
Is THAT the best you can do ?
So came his reply :
"But on the desk is where I want you!"
Pashernate_Lover
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Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 2:39 am
Location: Santa Cruz, California

Postby chicken » Sat May 26, 2007 9:14 pm

for obvious reasons

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Postby rubygirl » Sat May 26, 2007 10:00 pm

:P :lol: :rolleyes:
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Color me red when I'm feeling blue.
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Postby rubygirl » Fri Jun 15, 2007 7:57 am

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Color me red when I'm feeling blue.
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Postby Lorimoz » Fri Jun 22, 2007 7:22 am

<!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section

of an airplane.

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly

shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose,

then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the

shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.

As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than

before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman, "I couldn't help

but notice" he said, "that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then

shuddered violently. Are you ok?"

"I am sorry if I disturbed you," she replied. "I have a very rare medical condition;

whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious.

"I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"







…………….















The woman nodded, "Yeah Black Pepper."<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->
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Postby Lorimoz » Sat Jul 21, 2007 8:48 am

<!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office, ready to show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the woman.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my tennis bracelet?"<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->
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Postby rubygirl » Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:12 pm

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Color me red when I'm feeling blue.
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