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Strangeways • View topic - Awful Jokes

Awful Jokes

Anything you wanna say, say it!

Postby Boxguy » Tue May 08, 2007 2:08 pm

I can't even begin to say how true this is:

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Postby Pashernate_Lover » Tue May 08, 2007 6:52 pm

A note upon his desk
"P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
Leather elbows on a tweed coat
-Oh!-
Is THAT the best you can do ?
So came his reply :
"But on the desk is where I want you!"
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Posts: 2601
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Postby Pashernate_Lover » Wed May 23, 2007 4:55 pm

A note upon his desk
"P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
Leather elbows on a tweed coat
-Oh!-
Is THAT the best you can do ?
So came his reply :
"But on the desk is where I want you!"
Pashernate_Lover
Smiths Nut!
 
Posts: 2601
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 2:39 am
Location: Santa Cruz, California

Postby Miserable Liar » Thu May 24, 2007 1:59 am

You're gonna kill me, is that your plan?
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Postby Pashernate_Lover » Thu May 24, 2007 4:36 am

A note upon his desk
"P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
Leather elbows on a tweed coat
-Oh!-
Is THAT the best you can do ?
So came his reply :
"But on the desk is where I want you!"
Pashernate_Lover
Smiths Nut!
 
Posts: 2601
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 2:39 am
Location: Santa Cruz, California

Postby elko » Thu May 24, 2007 9:42 am

elko
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Postby Truman Capote » Thu May 24, 2007 9:44 am

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Postby Lorimoz » Thu May 24, 2007 5:39 pm

<!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and runs downstairs. When she opens the door,
there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
£800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and
goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband
asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour,"
she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
about the £800 he owes me?"<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->
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Postby Pashernate_Lover » Thu May 24, 2007 5:45 pm

A note upon his desk
"P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!"
Leather elbows on a tweed coat
-Oh!-
Is THAT the best you can do ?
So came his reply :
"But on the desk is where I want you!"
Pashernate_Lover
Smiths Nut!
 
Posts: 2601
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 2:39 am
Location: Santa Cruz, California

Postby chicken » Sat May 26, 2007 9:14 pm

for obvious reasons

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Postby rubygirl » Sat May 26, 2007 10:00 pm

:P :lol: :rolleyes:
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Color me red when I'm feeling blue.
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Postby rubygirl » Fri Jun 15, 2007 7:57 am

Image
Image
Color me red when I'm feeling blue.
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Postby Lorimoz » Fri Jun 22, 2007 7:22 am

Image

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Postby Lorimoz » Sat Jul 21, 2007 8:48 am

<!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office, ready to show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the woman.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my tennis bracelet?"<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->
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Postby rubygirl » Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:12 pm

Image
Image
Color me red when I'm feeling blue.
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