Dating sites

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Postby Cracked Pleasures » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:03 pm

Today I caught a colleague browsing the internet at work in between dealing with different customers (normally we are not allowed to surf, but well, we all break the rules now and then :D ). He was surfing some dating site and showed me the features. Out of curiosity I had a look and was somewhat surprised. Most dating sites are just pictures with a name, a location, a few hobbies, and that's it. This one however is more in-depth, the members can write a rather long introduction to themselves, including some more in-depth things like ambitions in life, ideal family situation, career ambitions ... Seems this site allows you to really filter the profiles and narrow them down to only people with whom you have really a lot in common.

I have always been very sceptic to dating sites and never ever used one. It seems so unspontaneous to use a computer to browse for women, I would feel like a womaniser (which I hate to be) who on top of that doesn't have the guts to approach women in real life. Hence why I always felt very sceptic about dating sites and never registered at one.

But this colleague of mine says it can be good fun even for just friendships or chatting, and I must admit I got a bit curious.

So... should I... or shouldn't I? :ph34r:

I'd still prefer to find romance in the normal way though. Still angry at myself for not daring to ask the number of that sweet lady on the bus :(
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Postby Eight of nine lives » Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:30 am

Dating sites are generally for the fat, fugly and socially inept who can't get a date or partner in real life, due to any number of issues revolving around how fat, fugly, mentally disturbed or inept they are. Usually it's the bottom of the barrel: Fat chicks, single moms, girls with personality disorders who sit around listening to fall out boy in their room while they pop depression meds etc.

You see, the vast majority of 'normal' people don't need to go on a computer to get a date, they simply have that happen through social interaction in everyday life. What you have left over, when you take out the vast majority of normal/desirable women, is the ones previously mentioned.

Avoid it like the plague. If you want to venture into the world of interwebs dating, go ahead, but don't expect much. In fact, prepare for the worst.
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Postby Boxguy » Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:53 am

Eight of nine lives wrote:Dating sites are generally for the fat, fugly and socially inept who can't get a date or partner in real life, due to any number of issues revolving around how fat, fugly, mentally disturbed or inept they are. Usually it's the bottom of the barrel: Fat chicks, single moms, girls with personality disorders who sit around listening to fall out boy in their room while they pop depression meds etc.

You see, the vast majority of 'normal' people don't need to go on a computer to get a date, they simply have that happen through social interaction in everyday life. What you have left over, when you take out the vast majority of normal/desirable women, is the ones previously mentioned.

Avoid it like the plague. If you want to venture into the world of interwebs dating, go ahead, but don't expect much. In fact, prepare for the worst.

Whoa there, mate! Watch that first paragraph, especially that first sentence!

I know from experience this is not necessarily true. Yes, there are a number of less than desirable people on dating sites, but there are gems out there. I've had two rather healthy relationships with very good looking, intelligent, independent, strong, and caring women result from online dating sites. And even though they didn't last of course, they were good experiences for me both in terms of relationships and --with one of them especially-- in terms of life lessons.
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Postby Eight of nine lives » Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:07 am

Boxguy wrote:
I know from experience this is not necessarily true.


No, not 'necessarily' true, but it is generally true. At least I find so. I've never dated in my lifetime, but I have browsed those sites and craiglist before and 9/10 times the women fit my description. They are either fat (although they try and hide it in their photos) extremely ugly (again, angled photos, sunglasses etc) single mothers (i luv my kidz <3), attention whores, drama queens, etc.

While one 'may' find something while venturing what I like to call 'the bowels of the internet', it's usually not the best choice, and generally the last resort to those in the throes of dating desperation.

Those who are good looking and socially competent don't go on dating sites, not usually. How many 10/10, knockout, hot chicks do you see on sites like that? Exactly. They don't need to go on the internet for a date, that's why. What you get is the leftovers that are unwanted fighting for the right to date each other online.

Again, I find this to be 'generally', and 'usually' true. I'm sure if you browse for long enough and go through enough online conversations you 'may' find one that's halfway normal, but why bother going through all that bs to begin with?
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Postby chicken » Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:09 am

'fraid i must agree with Boxguy here, sorry 8:9.
not only have i been happy meeting some people, some people have been happy meeting me! and while i'm not really full of myself, i will say i'm not fat, fugly, socially inept, can't get a date or partner in real life, and have no issues revolving around how fat, fugly, mentally disturbed or inept i am.

i will say be careful, prudent, and reasonable about it. it can be quite rewarding if you play your cards right.


"life lessons" says Boxguy. indeed, life lessons. :D
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Postby Cracked Pleasures » Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:35 am

So you both tried dating sites already and found it positive experiences?

I always felt sceptic about using a computer for my lovelife but maybe I am too old-fashioned in that way and should use all options available, including modern technology. I made several friends for life via the internet, so I guess if that works out then it should not be impossible to also see something more grow out of the internet connections...
Keep it flaming your desire, always rising higher - Aim for stars and hit the sky
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Postby chicken » Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:20 am

eight of nine, sorry if i came off too strong in that last post. your second one was up before my first one was.

regardless, i see your point and to a certain degree i believe you are right.
i suspect there may be a difference in the hetero vs. homo experience in on-line dating. even if that's true, i still see any number of "trolls" out there trying to simply feel the skin of someone else :ph34r:


cp, if you decide to give it a try: always be prudent.
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Postby Cracked Pleasures » Fri Dec 21, 2007 5:32 pm

For those wanting just a one-night-stand you're better off using adultfriendfinder.com which is a site for finding sexual adventures only. Not interested personally though, I am getting too old for meaningless flirts.

A dating site with people with proper intentions... Not sure, still not sure. This colleague of mine says he met some really nice people through that site he uses, but I still feel a bit like it's unspontaneous...
Keep it flaming your desire, always rising higher - Aim for stars and hit the sky
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Capital punishment = murder

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Re: Dating sites

Postby Cracked Pleasures » Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:40 am

Well, in a somewhat impulsive mood I actually did enrol on one such a site. Filled in a profile, did a few tests to determine my personality... and well, have done nothing with it ever since. I am too shy to approach a woman for a date even when the approach is online, I must be totally hopeless :oops: Maybe it is just still feeling somewhat odd about such sites and such ways to find romance, on the other hand the regular ways are not exactly working for me. I mean, I hate flirting, I hate the competitive aspect, the having to impress and "seduce". It should not be about such things, romance should just be about loving each other, sharing your most passionate interests together and offering each other a shoulder to cry on when needed. The whole competitive aspect and flirting aspect I am so uninterested in, and most public places are frequented by people interested mainly in a good time and a party night out. I am interested in the type of girl who prefers a good conversation, a debate night, an arts exhibition, a poetry reading ... in other words, the sort of persons who generally do not go to the most visable public places. Maybe that is why I enrolled at that site, but then somehow it still feels somewhat artificial to actually use it. If I knew where to go in regular real places to meet "my type" I would not even think of online dating. Now it is something, after almost a year of doubting, where I see the benefits clearly but somehow also see some argument somewhere to delay actively using such sites.

My lovelife is a disaster and bound to stay that way if I realistically look in the mirror (not appearance wise, behaviour wise I mean) :?
Keep it flaming your desire, always rising higher - Aim for stars and hit the sky
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Capital punishment = murder

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Re: Dating sites

Postby Pashernate_Lover » Wed Nov 19, 2008 5:03 am

Well, I think that romances starting by becoming friends on the internet first works out extremely well some times- take, for example, how I met my current awesome boyfriend on IRC, we became friends, I moved away from the internet so we became pen pals and I called him a few times, he moved to California as he had been planning to since before IRC time and stopped by to visit, stayed a couple of days and we started dating a couple of weeks later... In 2005. So go go making more friends on the internet- sometimes it leads to unexpected love :)
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Re: Dating sites

Postby Cracked Pleasures » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:40 pm

Well, I sent a few messages. I feel so odd about this, reacting on advertisements about dating. In a way it feels a bit artificial, and the contrary of spontaneous "love at first sight" events. But well, sometimes you need to give destiny a push in the right direction I guess. I guess it says enough about my romantic effords that I still await reactions several days after having sent the message! :)
Keep it flaming your desire, always rising higher - Aim for stars and hit the sky
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Capital punishment = murder

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Re: Dating sites

Postby Nymphetamine » Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:26 pm

Ignoring EON's sweeping generalisations as to who uses Internet Dating sites, I don't believe there is anything shameful about using the Internet as a tool to connect to others, it's after all a form of communication. I agree with EON that there are unsavoury characters that use Internet dating sites, but what he failed to acknowledge in his opening post is that you will find unsavoury people everywhre; in bars, clubs, coffee shops and record shops ect, ect!

I've never used the Internet for dating purposes as I do not believe it will aid me in any given way, and if it helps others than that's great! I imagine there are some awesome catches on these dating sites, you just have kiss a few frogs along the way.
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