Random quotes

[Shakespeare's Sister]

"Been there, done that, seen it, heard it, pissed on it"

Billy Corgan.

[The Boy with a thorn in his side]

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes" Oscar Wilde

"It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think? Howard Moon, colon, explorer"
"Colon explorer? I think that's got the wrong sort of ring to it"

"leave me alone, I'm trying to write my novel"
"ok.....hey Howard....Howard, Howard...Howard...Howard...Howard, hey Howard, Hoooow..."
"This had better be good"
"You know the black bits in bananas, are they tarantula's eggs?"

"I'm a gifted child, I can talk to animals"
"I know, you have a talent, a gift"
"I'm like Mowgli in flares"
"But I think you squander that gift"
"what do you mean?"
"Do you really think the animals want to know about Gary Numan?"

The Mighty Boosh

[Truman Capote]

"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act."

"When God hands you a gift, he also hands you a whip; and the whip is intended for self-flagellation solely."

"Writing stopped being fun when I discovered the difference between good writing and bad and, even more terrifying, the difference between it and true art. And after that, the whip came down."

"The better the actor the more stupid he is".

"When you've got nowhere to turn, turn on the gas".

"I like to talk on TV about those things that aren't worth writing about."

"Greatness consists in trying to be great. There is no other way."

"The true beloveds of this world are in their lover's eyes lilacs opening, ship lights, school bells, a landscape, remembered conversations, friends, a child's Sunday, lost voices, one's favorite suit, autumn and all seasons, memory, yes, it being the earth and water of existence, memory."

-Truman Capote

[Shakespeare's Sister]

"The wise musicians are those who play what they can master."

Duke Ellington

"It's spring when the world is puddle-wonderful."

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart"

E.E Cummings

[chicken]

[the_queen_is_dead]

"It's a machine that breaks when you say FISH"

deriving from dans insanely complex talk that goes as follows:

you build a machine , that breaks when you say 'it's a machine that breaks'. 'it's a machine that breaks when you say it's name' is the name of the so-called machine.

therefore if you had to describe this machine, you would say "it's a macine that breaks when you say it's a machine that breaks when you say it's a machine that breaks when you say...and so on"

i was so utterly confused!!! and eve was just not getting it and dan was getting into a flap and yelled out just substitute the phrase 'it's name' with the word FISH!!! not that that really made any more sense.

[stanyewest]

[rubygirl]

The pen is mightier than the sword & considerably easier to write with -Marty Feldman

[Lazy Dyke]

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
Oscar Wilde

[helmoz]

loads of my mates at uni are making quote pages/books, when they're done at the end of the year i'll post some quotes from them - they'll be great!

[some_dizzy_whore_1804]

Hold it! I wanta go on record that I aint belongin' to nothing that's called a clan!
-Sammy Davis Jr

That's the only intelligent funny quote I have! Most of the quote I know are from shows like Futurama or Family Guy

[Miserable Liar]

"It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." - My Dad (could've been someone else first but my dad rules.

[Miserable Liar]

[the_queen_is_dead]

"I wish i could suck in my tits..

let's have a go! nnnngh!"

[Miserable Liar]