Week 14: Yandee

In which a member is mercilessly questioned by the rest of us....for fun!

Postby yandee » Tue Jul 10, 2007 6:40 pm

my dearest partner in crime,
you always make me smile, whenever I read what you've got to say. I always feel at home if you know what I mean. What I wanted to add is that youth culture over here neither is something to be proud of. I mean what really stands for youth culture is quite the same. And when I say that I get to discuss poetry and music with people then it means that I talk and they listen. Nothing bad at all, but not very satisfying as you can imagine. I guess that we are about the same in those perspectives. I was quite lucky with my friends in the last two years. I started working as the music nerd in our school newspaper in my final year at school. Some girl from the 7th form had the idea that a newspaper was obligatory for our school. So we decided just to make one. I found me dearest friends there. The girl who started it and her two best friends. Don't really know how we started talking, but one day she mailed me if I wanted to contribute anything to the last paper and though I was working for my a levels I said "Fuck. Yeah!" That's how all got started. I even met a girl there I am still looking for in this freaking town. When I first met her she was 15 and she sat next to me when we had pizza for our final celebration, I heard that she is writing prose and poetry and I asked her what had influenced her the most and i didn't expect anything other than the usual trivial bullshit, but she told me that she had been through the most of fin de siecle french decadence and her favourite book was Huysmans' A Rebour", one of the few times I was really stunned. Still looking forward to meet her on the street someday, sooner or later. But I think I'm just drifting away from the core issue. I never really loved anybody before I met those three girls and they really liked me the way I was. I have always been kind of proud to be the ultimate outlaw, but it was always covered by a lot of hatred, anxiety and bitterness. They accepted all that and they loved me for that. And what confused me the most, they didn't try to change me. But that has been the only real friendship I experienced. And even they don't understand me the way I am, they accept me, but they don't understand me.
We both know how it feels to be on our own, with no direction home, complete unknowns, like rolling stones. But that is what separates us from the rest. We are lost, all alone inside this forest made of sings, but the others don't even know about this relam of the surreal where mere logic is never enough.
Of course there is no way to be known by something like poetry in times like these, but it's just the way you put it. Who should throw his or her glove into society's face if not us? :D
I'm glad they printed one of your poems, although it does matter which one. But it was their choice, you could have done nothing about that. I read some of my poems at an open stage night on June 30th and my friends were in Barcelona at that time. I was there in front of this incredibly annoying audience almost alone (there was a girl with me I had only seen once, we had sung songs together when we were drunk at some party) and guess what happened...right, the half of the audience left the building with their beer and went outside, the others were totally incapable of what happened. There was absolute silence after the first poem for about 5 seconds then i said "Thank you, arseholes" (they unfortunately didn't hear the last thing). Then there was quite some applaus, but it sounded rather like confusion and sympathy. Two people talked to me afterwards, one said "these were your poems?" and I said yes and the other guy said that he didn't understand. The girl mentioned said that she had no idea whatsoever, but I had read incredibly pretty. She was touched but she didn't know why. I think that they just don't get us. It's not time for our poetry yet. :D But will be honoured as the truely greatest once we are dead. Isn't that at least something? :D

I send you these poisoned blossoms from the depths of the sea where I dwell, andy

btw I don't know how long it will take me to get msn or something like that, but I made it to facebook, don'tz know if you're there, but if you are add me (only got 5 friends, but i ain't got more in real life either :D ) I guess there is only one Andreas Neuhauser on there. See you

the one I love
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