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Postby chrisarclark » Wed Nov 09, 2005 5:49 am


I knew you long before we ever met─
Though perhaps I should instead say knew of
And too, it was long before I knew love,
But your image I never could forget.
And then, when I did truly come to know,
Amazed and enamoured was I to find
The outward beauty which to all you show
Was outmatched by that of your heart and mind.
Still, it came as an even greater shock
That somebody as beautiful as thee
Should stake a loving interest in me;
That I should ever have had such great luck.
Yet, it finally came as no surprise,
That I’d watch you go through tears in my eyes.

-chrisarclark, 2005
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Postby elko » Wed Nov 09, 2005 11:36 pm

I like it, Chris. It's pretty timeless (in the form and the language), but there's something fresh about it.

Do you find it a challenge to write to set structures, or was it something that just happened?
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Postby chicken » Thu Nov 10, 2005 12:22 am

i was wondering that, too. what is your experience of writing in form? why choose this form?

the thing about writing in form. i've only tried it with a pantoum, which are exceedingly difficult. i found it really difficult. i'll try to sign on with my other machine and put up my very poorly done example of a pantoum, but you'll see the restrictive pattern immediately.

i found it!! and this old pc is working well enough to actually post!!

<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Pantoum #1

My split timbers
Creaking crafted ship
Cold rushing water
Splintered wood gives way

Creaking crafted ship
Deckhands clamber to the hold
Splintered wood gives way
Precious panicked cargo long for soil

Deckhands clamber to the hold
Two by two paired mates crying
Precious panicked cargo long for soil
40 days and 40 nights

Two by two paired mates crying
Hooves and paws paddle the troughs
40 days and 40 nights
Lost living treasures, sinking

Hooves and paws paddle the troughs
Cold rushing water
Lost living treasures, sinking
My split timbers

<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Last edited by chicken on Thu Nov 10, 2005 12:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Guest » Sat Nov 12, 2005 11:44 pm

<!--QuoteBegin-elko+Nov 9 2005, 11:36 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (elko @ Nov 9 2005, 11:36 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Do you find it a challenge to write to set structures, or was it something that just happened? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
yes and no, iguess.

icame up with the first bit really quickly, juste thinking to myself one day- the bit in the first quatrain about "...knew you long before we ever met-/... should isay knew of-/and too, twas long before iknew love." not the exact wording, but more or less it was there in my head. it was originally going to be juste another lyric, but early on isaw the opportunity to mould a sonnet out of it and so idecided to giv it a go.

ive been studying a lot of poetry- 16th-18th century stuff- and much of what ive most enjoyed has been amongst the sonnet tradition- Howard, Sidney, Spenser, Shakespeare, Woodsworth and so on. in particular, ive been a big fan of Shakespeare's sonnets, and thats why ichoose to write in more or less the Shakespearian form, though iuse an envelope rhyme scheme in the first and third quatrians.

it was challenging, but not terribly really. a lot of it came relatively quickly and then igot stuck for a time and ileft it unfinished for months. icame across it again the other day and had some inspiration to finish it off. a lot of my frustration originally was icouldnt decide whether to write more olde style (it was origianlly "'twas" and other stuff like "ye" and so on when istarted makin a sonnet out of it), or modern/contemporary. iwanted to go modern cos it would reflect more genuinely (since it is indeed very genuine emotionally), but icouldnt get away from the "thee"/"me" rhyme- so ifinally decided to marry the two and became quite satisfied with the result. the final couplet came out in two seconds.

ive written one other sonnet- ibelieve iposted it here, "The Common Things"- which was more an excerise than anything else. imean, it was voluntary, but it was really me havin read a lot of Woodsworth and seeing if icould do anything like it- sadly, the answer was no. its decent fora first go isuppose, but iwont keep round for the collection- ha.

this one im far more proud of.

Postby Cracked Pleasures » Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:22 pm

Great writing there!
Keep it flaming your desire, always rising higher - Aim for stars and hit the sky
(Echo & The Bunnymen - Evergreen, 1996)

Capital punishment = murder


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